Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Doesn't everyone brush their teeth in high heels?...

My kids are obsessed with my shoes!! Not just Chasey...but Cash too! He especially loves my Hot Pink and White Polka Dot Betsy Johnson heels!! They are ridiculously cute...but also ridiculously uncomfortable!! least someone is getting use out of them! Of course...I don't have a picture of him in those...but I took these of Chasey brushing her teeth the other night before bed!

Friday, April 23, 2010

Daning in the Dark...

What do you do with the light up Mickey Ears that you have in the toy box? Turn the lights off, crank up the music and have a Dance the dark!!

I took these pictures in almost complete darkness! I would just shoot and these are some of the funny ones that I captured of them all dancing around! The kids had a blast! Mommy and James were having fun getting in on the action too!

Chasey just cracks me up! She really gets into the dancing thing! :)

blurry pic...but so funny that she's "DJ'ing"

Then...she got hot and grabbed an ice pack out of the freezer!!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Got it off my chest....

I’m the worst communicator! It’s actually VERY surprising to the people that know me well because I really don’t shut up…but when it comes to talking about ANYTHING serious I clam up…I just don’t deal with it and I hope it goes away. I did this for 13 ½ years with my ex…When I would have anything to say that I knew might make him a little mad or upset him, I just didn’t deal with it. Occasionally I would write him a letter….Yes…I would write him a letter and sit there with him while he would read it! I know! I know…so childish…but if I didn’t I would NEVER say all the things I wanted to say. I would start and then forget all the important parts. I gave him one of these “letters” about 4 months before we got married. It was about how I felt that we were getting married because we were “supposed” to…because we had been together for 8 years and that’s just what you do. Turns out, I was right….but…no regrets! I have two amazing little people because we did move forward with our marriage so…I’m ok with all of that. But…crazy how you just KNOW! I really did and I went through with it anyways….I wonder how many other brides walk down the aisle not being completely 100% sure that what they are doing is the right thing to do?

So…the point of all this…is that I’m REALLY REALLY trying to get better about communicating! James is amazing with helping me learn how to communicate and if he does something that makes me mad…I usually hold it in for a little bit (like a few hours) and then I just let him have it. He’s really funny when I do this because he knows how hard it is for me to even get the words out. He almost always has an explanation for whatever and he always apologizes for whatever it was…it’s usually something stupid, but he appreciates that I let him know that he said or did something that really bothered me. Example…we were out to dinner one night with another couple. James made a comment about OUR bed….being HIS bed (because it was his before I moved in)…so stupid I know…but it really hurt. He ASKED me to move in…He WANTED me and the kids to live there with him…..He didn’t even realize that I would take it like that and once we got home I told him how I felt (through streaming tears)…and he felt so bad and gave me a huge hug and made me laugh!

My ex drives me nuts…we do get along…but ONLY because I am so non-confrontational and I let him get away with ANYTHING! I know…I’m a total pushover, but it’s just how I am…I’m trying to be better….The fact that he ONLY sees the kids when he is obligated to do so (every other weekend) has really been bothering me lately. He’s pretty good about taking them on a weeknight here or there if I ASK…and ONLY if I have something going on and I ask him to take them. He does come to Chasey’s gymnastics practice for about 45 minutes every week, but it’s down the street from his house and I don’t really count that as quality time….So yesterday, he stopped by my work to pick up some papers from me and although my stomach was in KNOTS just knowing that I wanted to say something to him….I told him how I felt!! I told him that someday his kids are going to realize that he LIVES with his girlfriend and her FOUR kids, but yet he ONLY sees Chasey and Cash every other weekend! And….this is the part that blows me away…he goes the WHOLE 12 days between “his” weekends without even seeing them! He calls almost every day…but we live 10 minutes from him….He could come get them anytime…take them to the park…to dinner…have them come spend the night….Of course he had excuses when I confronted him, but at least I said something and it felt SOOOO good! Now maybe my nagging voice will at least be in the back of his mind. Trust me…it’s not that I want my kids any less than I have them now…I work full time and I enjoy my time with them…but I don’t want them to grow up resenting their dad for not spending more time with them!

So…there’s my ramble for the week….here’s a really cute picture I found yesterday of back when C&C were little! It’s my background on my computer right now! I just love the smile on Cash’s face! I think he was about 4 or 5 months old there and Chasey wasn’t even 3!

Happy Wednesday my friends!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

It's Big Mommy!...

Wow!! Cash blew me away this of those "oh my gosh, I can NOT believe my kid just said that" moments...You know, one where you want to laugh uncontrollably, but really, he was just stating a fact! I LOVE this parenting gig! I get so many laughs and good times in my own living room!

Cash just woke up...
Me: got him out of his crib and brought him to the living room to change his diaper
Cash: "Mommy, my pee pee is BIG!"
Me: Yes it is buddy! (while dying laughing on the inside)

So simple and innocent and really just stating a WAS morning afterall (if you know what I mean)...but the 12 year old in me was just dying!

Here are a couple of pictures of that Crazy kid!

We are NEVER without entertainment in this house!

(and don't mind the glad trash bags behind him...I swear...all I see when I look at this picture is Glad trash bags and dirty carpet! ACK!)

Monday, April 12, 2010

My Newfound "Green Thumb".... least I hope I can keep these plants alive! I have a tendency to forget to water things!

This weekend I planted a few things to do my part in "keeping the planet green"....I planted a veggie, 2 herbs and lots of flowers....I live in a I don't have room for a real garden...I do have the room for a raised garden box, but first I want to see if I can grow a few things before I try my hand at growing a LOT of things!

I bought one of those "topsy-turvy tomato planter" things a couple of weeks ago. I honestly thought it was an "all-inclusive" purchase and I thought it would have everything I needed inside that little box. I sat down to put my planter together a few days after my purchase and realized that I needed potting I put it all back in the box and waited until another free day to buy potting soil and get this thing started!

Sooo...Saturday morning I ran out and bought potting soil and came home to put together my tomato planter...What do you know?? It doesn't come with a tomato plant!!! I did NOT think it would actually have a plant with it, but I thought it would have seeds? and I thought it would have potting know, the kind that you soak in water and it grows to 100x it's size! I've bought other kits and everything was always included!

After a trip to Home Depot and seeing all the pretty garden veggie plants....I came home with a really cute Cherry Tomato plant...and a Sweet Basil plant and a Cilantro plant. Wish me luck!! If this works out...maybe next year I'll plant a "real" garden!

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Thankful for good friends...

You know...along with a divorce comes SO many other things that you really don't think about when it's just the two of you, not getting along for a long period of time, deciding that you should no longer be together...thinking life will be better if you don't have to share it with each other.

Then...reality CAN be and IS much better...but there are so many other aspects of life that divorce affects.

There are little things like going to use the body wash in the shower after he moved out and realizing that HE TOOK it!! Dammit! Or that he took one end table and now there is an empty space in the living room...these little things are the "first" things that bother you...and then the "REAL" stuff sets in...

You KNOW that it will affect the kids...but you don't realize HOW MUCH it affects them....and truly we will never know because they were so young, but they will grow up to be totally different people than they would have been had we stayed together. James and I just KNOW that Cash actually has a fighting chance of not being moody like his dad since he's with us 85% of the time, but Chasey...she was already moody when we she's got his "Moody Gene"! It's ok...I dealt with his for over 13 years...I can deal with hers...she came out of me! I will deal with pretty much anything she throws my way! :)

You KNOW that it will affect your living situation and financial my case, I had to move out of our house and living alone for a year and a half was a VERY strange thing. At first it was so nice to not have to answer to anyone and the kids and I did whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted...but then it got lonely...We are very happy where we are now...

You KNOW it will affect parts of your life, but I never dreamed how much it would affect my "family"....The family that I spent EVERY holiday with...from Christmas to the 4th of July...was HIS, officially, they are no longer MY family! I still love them dearly, and I still talk to them all the time, but we no longer spend holidays together and that ONE thing has been the hardest part of this divorce for me....I honestly thought we would still be able to spend holidays at his families houses and it would still be the same....but when you add in new boyfriends and girlfriends...its just not possible. I think "the ex" and I would be fine around each other...its how uncomfortable it makes everyone else. It's just weird I kind of feel like I lost my FAMILY!

Then....the title of this post steps in...I am SO thankful for great friends...Friends that really weren't your best friends before the divorce, but stepped in when you needed them the most and are there for you! There for you, your kids, your new boyfriend...your visiting mom...whoever comes into my life is welcome in theirs! That's how MY family is...(My family in the midwest)...but as we all know...I am WAY too far from my family and I miss them all dearly. I had "HIS" family....and now I don't even have that 365 days a year...(I have them still...except not on the holidays...which to me...are some of the most important).

These are the girls I'm talking about...I spend Thanksgiving, New Years, Christmas Eve, Easter, birthdays......Friday nights......and many other times with their families! They are sister-in-laws and their family has welcomed my family...just as it is...with open arms! I love them dearly and can't thank them enough!

Here are a few...(I mean LOTS) pics from our super fun Easter Sunday...Lots of wine was consumed, lots of shattered eggs from our "egg races" and just a super fun day all around for the adults and the kids!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

The Happiest Place on Earth...

Well...I don't know if its the "HAPPIEST" place? Or the most tiring place in the whole wide world?! sure was fun!

We did 2 days in a row...thanks to Southern California Residents "2fer" deal! Pay for a day, get the 2nd free!! I LOVE a deal! The first day was a full day at Disneyland...the 2nd Day was at California Adventure. I had NEVER been to California Adventure and I would actually like to go back without the kids (do NOT tell them that)...but it's more of a roller coaster, older kid kind of park...and they serve WINE!! (My kind of place!) The Pixar parade was awesome though and the kids loved all the characters from their favorite movies, Nemo, Cars, Toy Story, The Incredibles....

A day at a theme park is NOT complete without face paint...according to Chasey

Whoever was in that Mickey costume was TINY! My sister is tall, but Mickey was super tiny!

Pretty much sums it up!

I have the sweetest little boy ever

Cutest Dress EVER!

another Sewing creation!! Ariel is on the purple's the only cute Disney fabric I could find last minute

Made a hair clip to match

I wish I had these shoes! Chasey is so lucky...and SO spoiled!

I have family in town this week...It's been so much fun! I really really miss my family!