I really have no idea what's wrong with me...I'm usually a happy go lucky person, but for the past week or so, I've really been "off". My kids are driving me NUTS and I yell at them WAY more than I should...James is wonderful, but I've even been mean to him. Not MEAN...but bitchy for sure. Thank god he can joke about it with me and he calls me out. If he took it personally, he would be out the door!
I know this is MY fault....but I've always let Chasey make her own choices when it comes to what she wants to wear...this has REALLY become a problem lately. Everything is "itchy" or "uncomfortable" or she just won't wear it for whatever reason. I pick out 5 different outfits each morning before she will actually put one on. It's not until I've lost my mind and walked out of the room that she finally decides on what to wear.
Cash got the brunt of it this morning...as I stormed out of the kids room after dealing with Chasey, I walked out to find Cash in the hall closet making a huge mess! Of course I yelled at him too and made him lay down so I could get him dressed...all while he was crying because I had just yelled at him. UGH! I wanted nothing more than to drop them off and get to work.
and now....they are dropped off...they have their car seats, the suitcase is packed...and they are going to their dads for the weekend. We made up (well...mommy snapped out of it) and lots of kisses and hugs were given at drop off, but I feel SO bad....they are only young once and I am going to WISH I could get these crazy insane mornings back someday.
Someday you will read this (that is...if I print a book at the end of the year which I PLAN to do)...and I hope to god crazy insane mornings like today don't stand out in your memories! I love you both more than anything in the whole wide world....
to be brutally honest...I NEED this weekend....I am glad you love going to your dads!
(this is an old picture....it was when they first started "going to their dads" for the weekends...It was for a flickr group way back when)
ps-I promise if I don't snap out of this I WILL go see a dr! Maybe I do need that "lexapro" that Grandma Jackie was telling me about! :)
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no, you just need a margarita! ;)
ReplyDeletei hope you have a good night whatever you decide to do! ... and don't feel too guilty! you're such a good mom!
every mom has days like this! we just have to tell them we are kids sorry, move on, and try to do better. they are lucky to have you even if you aren't perfect :o)
ReplyDeleteWe all have days (or weeks) like this and "mommy guilt" is the worst...but we get through it right. By the way I love the quote in another post about accepting your family "as is" and not what you had wished or wanted...Being a divorced parent I had to go through an acceptance process also.
ReplyDeleteBlessing to you!
Chas